Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Yourself After Divorce and Empty Nesting

Introduction

You spent years taking care of everyone else — the kids, your partner, your job, your home. You gave, and gave, and gave, until one day, you woke up to a quiet house, an empty calendar, and a haunting question: "Who am I now?"

Whether you’re navigating life after divorce, adjusting to an empty nest, or simply facing a season of big change, this moment can feel both terrifying and deeply sacred. Because beneath all that fear is an invitation: an invitation to finally meet the woman you were always meant to be.

In this post, let’s explore why we lose ourselves in the first place, and how you can begin finding her again — the woman buried beneath all the roles and expectations.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Roles

From the moment we’re little girls, we learn to be helpers, pleasers, nurturers. We become the rock, the glue, the fixer. We take on labels like "wife," "mother," "employee," "caregiver" — and somewhere along the way, we forget we’re more than those titles.

When life shifts — the kids move out, a marriage ends, or a major role is lost — we realize that those roles became our entire identity. And without them, we feel… empty. Unanchored. Invisible.

The Grief of Letting Go (And Why It’s Normal)

It’s okay to grieve. Letting go of who you thought you were — or who you had to be — is a real loss. You’re not just grieving a person or a chapter; you’re grieving a version of yourself that no longer fits.

Permission granted: Feel it. Sit with it. Cry it out. Healing begins in the honesty of acknowledging what’s been lost.

Tiny Steps to Start Finding Yourself Again

You don’t have to rebuild overnight. Start small:

• Revisit something you loved as a child (dance, painting, journaling, music).
  
  

• Try a new morning ritual — one that’s just for you.
  
  

• Take a walk alone without music or distractions and listen to your thoughts.
  
  

• Begin a "who am I now?" journal, where you write without editing or judgment.
  
  

How to Create a Safe Space to Hear Your Own Voice

Creating internal (and external) space is crucial. Find a cozy nook, light a candle, and give yourself permission to ask: "What do I want? What do I need? Who am I becoming?"

Your true voice might be quiet at first. But she’s there — waiting patiently beneath the noise.

Journal Prompt to Begin Your Rediscovery

💬 "Who was I before the world told me who to be?"

Write it. Feel it. Let it pour out. Then keep going.

The Clear Path Forward

You are not meant to stay lost. There is a path — a clear path — waiting for you to walk it. If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to download my free guide, join our sisterhood community, or explore private coaching to walk this journey with support and love